And that is the rallying cry of Mr Justice Holman in the case of Ekaterina and Richard Fields http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/may/13/judge-divorce-couple-ekaterina-richard-fields-settlement
The couple have been married about 10 years, have two children, and at the start of the case, the Judge has urged them to try and resolve their financial issues without the intervention of the court. He explained that court hearings can be “awful” and described them as being like a boxing match. The couple’s fees are expected to be in excess of £1 million by the end of the trial, and the Judge asked them to consider what else they could have spent the money on.
As a mediator and a solicitor, I am aware that some cases are suitable for mediation, and others are not. For most however, it’s a question of timing. At the start of the separation, feelings are very raw, with clients ranging from angry to distraught. This is usually when clients are told about the benefits of mediation. This is usually when most people are not ready to try and work with their ex – there is likely to have been a massive breach of trust, and by embarking on the mediation process, clients have to trust their ex to make the process work.
By the time the court system kicks in, many clients are weary of the process, are fed up of paying legal fees, when they don’t feel like they have got very far, and are more likely to be receptive of mediation and the benefits – it’s quicker and cheaper, and far less stressful, and clients can dictate the pace (provided they agree).
What is the answer? Our system is built on the basis of litigation. There have been various suggestions over the years, as to how to improve our divorce system – by introducing no fault divorces, and by having a “cooling off” period. The difficulty is that our system is a one size fits all and as a practitioner of over 20 years, no two divorces are the same.
Mediation needs to be promoted, not as an alternative to litigation, but the main option. It is only when mediation is at the forefront that people will be more accepting of the system.
Some clients think that having a judge make a decision is somehow easier than making a difficult decision for themselves. It is only when they have been in litigation for a few months do they realise that that isn’t the case at all.